cScott's EverQuest Parodies


"Clarity Guy"

to the tune of "American Pie" by Don McLean

A long long time ago
I can still remember when our party went to Cazic Thule
And I knew if I had my chance
I'd get some charisma pants
And maybe I could mez things for a while
But my bad luck that day persisted
With every spell I cast resisted
Bad news from the onset
We hadn't reached the zone yet
I think I might've cried a bit
when I first took that bad faction hit
But that was not the worst of it
When my Enchanter died

So, Bye-bye, Mr. Clarity Guy
Some big lizard killed our wizard
Now there's blood in his eye
Your mez just broke and all your mana's run dry
And you'd better find a good place to die
Better find a good place to die

The druid said he knew the way
We weren't sure, but followed anyway
Maybe he could lead us there
And I do believe he tried his best
The others, they were less impressed
When several times we passed by the same stairs
But then suddenly we weren't alone
Then someone shouted "Train to zone!"
We all were unprepared
Man, those lizards were everywhere
I was a tiny little gnomish chap
With a chipped bone collar and a savant's cap
But I knew that my luck was crap
When my Enchanter died

They started singin'
Bye-bye, Mr. Clarity Guy
Some big lizard killed our wizard
Now there's blood in his eye
Your mez just broke and all your mana's run dry
And you'd better find a good place to die
Better find a good place to die

Well for two hours we were on our own
The others stuck in another zone
The warrior, the rogue and me
Well the warrior fought with a lot of skill
And a sword he borrowed from his guild
And a dose of my Alacrity
But then while she tried to zone back in
The Cleric went linkdead again
And so to our dismay
No rezzes came our way
And while some might think it isn't fair
I died each time I zoned in there
I soon had corpses everywhere
When my Enchanter died 

They were singing
Bye-bye, Mr. Clarity Guy
Some big lizard killed our wizard
Now there's blood in his eye
Your mez just broke and all your mana's run dry
And you'd better find a good place to die
Better find a good place to die

The sad thing is this story's true
And I lost a level, nearly two
But sometimes it just goes that way
I tried to make the best of it
And at least my skills went up a bit
But I didn't get one piece of loot that day
I tried to hail an NPC
Thought he might have some small quest for me 
But no reply was spoken
I guess that quest was broken
I knew I could count on my friends
To help me level up again
We went to Mistmoore that weekend
And my Enchanter died

And they were singing
Bye-bye, Mr. Clarity Guy
Some big lizard killed our wizard
Now there's blood in his eye
Your mez just broke and all your mana's run dry
And you'd better find a good place to die
Better find a good place to die

They were singing bye-bye, Mr. Clarity Guy
Some big lizard killed our wizard
Now there's blood in his eye
Your mez just broke and all your mana's run dry
And you'd better find a good place to die



cScott's EverQuest Song Parodies and the contents of this page are copyright 2002-2013 cScott

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